Introduction

On Thursday 26th May as I put the last of the pupils paintings up on the walls ready for our exhibition, it suddenly hit me how well the project had gone. It felt as if it had gone pretty well before this moment but it wasn't until I could see 72 distinctive and brightly coloured portraits hanging from the walls in their entirety, that I knew it had been a total success.

The pupils that had taken part had never used oil paint, canvas or even an easel. But by the end of my time they had all tried using materials and practices completely alien to them. I remember one of the art teachers saying that it was a challenge to even get the pupils to simply get something down on paper at times, so to have a painting finished in a short space of time was simply remarkable.

But it wasn't just about what the pupils did. It was about me too. My aims were to have a body of work, to improve my skills and to discover a path for my work to go by the end of the residency. Though it's been a challenge I managed to paint at least one portrait a week and my painting and has got much better.

Over the coming pages is my condensed journal (there was so much to comment on!) written over the course of my time as Artist-in-Residence at the Holgate School.

Neil Heath, May 2005

21.02.05

Today was my first day at the Holgate School as their first Artist-in-Residence. I was given my space by the head of the art department Chris Owen, and she left it up to me how I used it. I decided to set up the easel with my back to the pupils and the teacher. This way they could see what I was painting. By being visible within the classroom this also allowed pupils to be able to interact with me.

A couple of weeks before my arrival at the school, OFSTED inspectors had been. The results were not good and as a consequence the school was put into special measures. If this wasn't bad enough for the school's image there were also stories about staff negligence when it came to dealing with bullying. Absurd stories appeared in the papers about teachers walking past pupils who had their hair set on fire. It felt like everyone was out to get the school and its teachers.

Amid the gloom the art department did very well in the OFSTED report.

22.02.05

I started painting today. As I painted a portrait, of my friend John, there were plenty of compliments coming my way, which was great. Chris introduced me before each lesson and encouraged students to talk to me about my work. Once we'd got through the awkward introductions the pupils seemed to really enjoy talking to me. I heard them saying, "I'm going to try one like that". Chris also sent pupils to me to ask about digital photography and Photoshop techniques, which I gladly helped with.

23.02.05

Chris took me up to the upper school building for a staff meeting where she was going to introduce me to the head teacher Robert Kenney. Robert was instrumental in my arrival at the school. After trying not to slip on the snow covered paths and dodging the snowballs, we arrived at the meeting a bit late. The only words I heard from Richard were "I'm stepping down as head". It was a shame in many ways but I guess he had no choice.

Later…

We had a class discussion about what I was doing at the school. The pupils were very responsive. I spoke to them about the painting I was doing using proper art terms but not too deep or complicated. I did this, as it was a criticism of the art department by OFSTED that the students could not express themselves adequately enough when describing their work.

I also had a lot of contact with the sixth form. I offered advice and recommendations to them and largely they took them on board. By simply telling one of them that I liked his work, his face lit up - which was a good feeling.

I had a meeting with Chris and the other art teachers; we decided that I'd be working with a group of 'gifted and talented' students across year 7, 8 and 9 on a portraiture project. There'd be fifteen pupils in each group per day and over the course of the residency it would mean that I would work directly with ninety pupils. I was told that those selected felt privileged and excited about working with me.

29.02.05

Today I began my own lesson. Pupils had been selected to join me because of their potential and behaviour. We began the lesson by talking about self-portraiture. I showed them examples of famous paintings by Rembrandt, Picasso and Chuck Close. I could tell they were getting a little bored by my spiel, so I started getting them to do some quick sketches of themselves in the mirror. After five-minute periods I changed the rules adding or subtracting a pencil, rubber and charcoal. The idea was to 'free' them up a little more so they weren't worrying about the marks they were making on the paper.

They were all very quiet throughout the session but when I asked if they'd enjoyed themselves I got an enthusiastic "yes!" Which was very pleasing.

30.02.05

This is going to sound very big-headed but I've developed a little fan base. Because I work very quickly results appear sooner. Pupils are eager to find out what I've done from one day to the next. They're getting bolder when approaching me and when asking questions. My work is 'phat', which apparently means good.

I've even got respect from the cheeky pupils who are consistently told to be quiet by Chris. This might be a strange thing to say but without my artistic ability, I don't think I'd be able to communicate with them. Through the painting we can talk despite the years and differences between us.

08.03.05

A very difficult and challenging day. My latest painting, which I had been working on for around four to five hours, had failed. I ended up rubbing the image out. It's extremely soul destroying when this happens. You feel that you're no good and that you should quit now. It's disappointing when you can't do something; you start to question your ability and limitations.

Later…

I planned to have the pupils using digital cameras and playing with their images on Photoshop. By the end of the lesson they would have an image to work from next week when they came to painting.

However, the reality was… the batteries in nearly every camera died at the same time and those that did work we found we couldn't load the images on to the computers. Also, some of the pupils were all walking around in the confined space of the computer room wanting my attention at the same time. It was an absolute disaster. The one positive was that the pupils were prepared to come in the next day at lunchtime to complete their work.

It was certainly a 'baptism of fire' and I learnt that you cannot script a lesson. You can prepare for one but it doesn't always go to plan and it's preferable to be ready for that eventuality.

I've decided to crack on with my troublesome painting…

09.03.05

My lesson was much better today. It was still chaotic and busy but at least it was productive. Some pupils were quicker than others in getting an image into Photoshop and got bored more rapidly as a consequence. So for next time I decided to apply a more structured form to the lesson, talk them through it more and create a worksheet - instead of letting them play with it.

My troublesome painting isn't looking good. It could be time to bin it. However, I don't give up that easily…

10.03.05

The lesson was much, much better today. I think I cracked it. It was much calmer and more productive. The worksheet enabled them to get all the answers they needed when it wasn't possible for me to talk to them. Most of them got images ready for our painting sessions.

I've axed my painting. I got a cloth soaked in white spirit and wiped over it. I decided it was more the picture I was working from than anything else and not my ability. I started a new painting and had something finished by the end of the day, which gave me more faith in myself.

15.03.05 - 17.03.05

I started a painting of my grandad. On Monday I took a picture of him; he couldn't stop smirking because he felt a bit silly. But it was this pose that I caught him doing and I felt that this summed everything up about him at this point in his life. I was lucky to catch my grandma in the background too.

I started this portrait on a huge canvas, nearly two metres in length. This added to its intensity particularly as I did the hands. My grandad has a huge frame owed largely to his years as a miner - back in the days when you had to chip the black stuff from the coalface yourself with a pickaxe.

Nearly three years ago my grandparents lost their only child, my mother, to cancer. They've never fully recovered; I guess they never will. It was truly a very emotional experience painting my grandad's portrait. It made me feel sad as I painted but also happy because I felt this was probably the best painting I've ever created.

The pupils that saw, it loved it. Largely because they recognised a lot in their own families - grandad sits in the living room as grandma makes the tea. This is the most engaging painting I've created - I'm incredibly proud and a good painting to finish the term on.

05.04.05 (New Term)

I had a very slow start today. I couldn't get into it. I guess most teachers feel like this after a break. After a chat with Chris I got my mind together ready for the coming weeks. We talked about the final exhibition showing my work and the pupils. Our initial idea was that we'd have an exhibition in Nottingham but this we found would be difficult for a number of reasons. So we decided to have it just outside the art rooms in an area called 'The Well' - a perfect exhibition space.

The new head teacher Phil Crompton started today. He was being shown around the school and came into our art class. I wasn't sure what he thought of the residency but my fears were allayed by his full support and enthusiasm for the project. Rightly, he saw it as a big plus for the school in terms of good publicity, something sadly lacking in recent times.

In my lesson we were due to start painting with oils. However the materials hadn't arrived so we were forced to use oil pastel. As with oil paint you can't simply wipe away the marks you make, so at least this was a good lesson to learn before we did start painting.

Apart from a two of my group they all volunteered to start early next week over lunchtime so we could get some painting started. It was a good feeling to know we were all pulling in the same direction and they wanted to do it.

06.04.05

Today I took the first oil painting lesson. How do you begin to teach oil painting? There's a huge number of ways of using oil and I'm not even sure I can describe my own method. Ideally I would have got them to draw their images on to the canvas but because of the lack of time, they had to go straight on to the canvas with the paint. I gave a quick demonstration of how I would approach the painting and then just told them to give it a bash. They were all scared to death but I told them to just enjoy themselves and if they did mess it up not to worry because this will be the first of many paintings they'll produce.

Throughout the lesson they gave everything. At times you could see where they were going wrong so I'd recommend what to do but wholly I wanted it to be their painting, so it was a case of just letting them make their own mistakes which can be the best way to learn at times.

By the end of this first session it was obvious that they weren't masterpieces but that wasn't the aim - are any great artists born with their gifts? It takes practice and energy. The most pleasing thing about today was that they didn't want to leave the classroom, although this may have been because they had German next!

I started a portrait of my hero Stuart Pearce. It probably would have been preferable to paint him arms aloft shouting at the crowd but I took a more sombre approach. The image I chose of him looks sad which could be a reflection of Forest's current demise. A year 11 pupil gave me her critique of the painting. Not knowing about Pearce or Forest she said he looked sad and lost which equally made her feel the same. I'm glad she felt I was approachable enough for her to give me her thoughts about my work. I believe this is key to the whole project; you have to meet at a level where you can communicate with each other. It's worthless distancing yourself from each other because nothing can be learnt that way.

11.04.05

I came in today especially to work with year 10 student. Chris identified her as needing a bit of a push because she has talent, but would rather gossip with her friends. Taking her away from her friends and concentrating on a painting turned her into a different person. You didn't hear a peep out of her because she was so into her painting.

12.04.05

I started a 'Rembrandt' style painting of myself today. I firstly painted the background a dark, brooding brown. While it was still wet I started applying my flesh tones. Because it's still wet you have to keep adding the lighter colours to build up the features. It's a very challenging way to work but enjoyable.

I started an oil painting session my second group in the afternoon. I started it over dinnertime to give us more time and to the pupils' credit they all sacrificed their own time for it. They loved painting and didn't want to stop.

I'm also getting to know them a bit more and we're having a bit of a laugh. It's a good atmosphere to work in and a relaxing atmosphere can only be beneficial to their work.

13.04.05

I continued with my Rembrandt painting, I'm really pleased with it. I decided that it's best not to always aim to complete a 'finished piece' each week - some can simply be called studies or experiments. I think I put too much pressure on myself sometimes to complete a 'masterpiece' when my best works might not be until I'm in my forties.

In the afternoon I took group one for their second painting lesson. They're working so hard and are almost fearless when it comes to making marks on the canvas. I'm not sure whether they're naturally like that or if they took my advice when I told them to enjoy themselves.

We even allowed ourselves time for a laugh. The class joker Jamie painted a moustache on to his face claiming it was accidental. The shoe was on the other foot when we told him it wouldn't come off!

14.04.05

I took my year 8 class this morning for their first oil painting lesson. It was an absolute disaster. They don't seem to have any confidence. Half of them wanted me to start their paintings for them and the rest were too afraid to put the brush on to the canvas. So by the end of the lesson they'd hardly done anything. I started to doubt myself, whether I'd done or said something different from the previous groups. I don't believe I did. I think it comes down to personality and a lack of confidence. They have one more lesson after this one. I hope it's a more productive one.

20.04.05

Today I took my last lesson with my year 7 group. Impressively they all finished their pieces. I asked them if they had enjoyed themselves and they said yes. They gave me a few suggestions to make the experience better; including more preparation time (before using paint), they'd also feel much more comfortable painting pictures of each other rather than themselves, which I guess comes down to self-consciousness.

I start with the new groups next week. I'm going to try and condense the time down so by the time we come to painting we have at least three lessons. I'm also going to put their names in a hat; the one they each pull out will be their subject for the period.

26.04.05

I started a portrait of my wife today. Chris had jokingly criticised me for always painting men. So I thought I'd give it a go. By the end of the day I was pleased with what I had done, it wasn't great but I could see what needed doing.

I started with a new group today. They new what the previous groups had been doing so it was a surprise when they discovered they'd be doing a portrait of each other. Here lies the problem. When they were doing the portraits of themselves they weren't using the liquefy tool to enlarge noses and eyes. One lad in particular got upset about what was happening to his face. Generally they're excited about the project.

28.04.05

I took my year 8 group today that I had such a difficult time with recently. They were much better. They were a lot more receptive and concentrated much harder. Around half of them finished their paintings. Some, before they left, thanked me for my time with them. This felt good; I can't imagine many teachers get thanked for their lessons.

On Thursday afternoons Chris usually takes a year 10 class. This week she was on a course and so a supply teacher took her class. This is usually a good class. On the whole they got on with the work set but some decided not to. I do have respect as a person, but I'm not a teacher and therefore I have no authority in the classroom. All I could do was leave a note for Chris about the behaviour of particular students.

I finished the painting of my wife; I'm extremely pleased with it. I'm gaining so much confidence from my work as I complete each one. I'm much more patient with a new painting because I know I've got finished works behind me and that they're of a good standard.

03.05.05

Today's group were decimated because of year 9 SAT exams. So I only took the remaining five year sevens. It was a great lesson as I was able to give them so much more of my time. They got our images all prepared and even had time to start drawing their works on to the canvas.

Karl began a portrait of myself. He decided to give me big cartoon eyes on the computer. I'm looking forward to how he's going to do it on the canvas.

04.05.05

With the changeover I've inherited the least talented students. Today I got them to draw on to the canvasses with their images. Their skills are pretty basic and at the moment at least are not going to do that well in art. But the important thing is that they're enjoying what they're doing and at least they're unlocking their creativity and expressing themselves. One of the most important things is that they've been introduced to something they've never done before and having a really good bash at it.

I'm pushing myself a bit harder too. I've started a huge painting of two of my friends with their baby. It's a difficult one to do, as the proportions are all different as well as the perspective. But surprisingly it's going well.

05.05.05

The GCSE students are frantic with preparations for their examinations next week. The most committed are in at lunchtime and after school.

Sue Cole, the Arts Education officer for Notts County Council, came for a visit. She was very impressed by what I've been doing with the pupils, which bodes well for me. It's also reassuring that I'm on the right lines with the project.

I have mixed feelings about my painting of Dan and Sarah. Sarah's looking great embracing her newborn baby - this side of the painting looks really beautiful. Dan on the other hand is looking a bit like Wayne Rooney.

10.05.05

The GCSE Art exams have had an effect on our classes. There are no classrooms going free so we've had to start painting outside of them in an area known as The Well. I only selected five pupils as a consequence, which was great for painting. It would have been nice to have this many in my groups each week in many ways but it's more important to introduce as many pupils as possible to the project as possible.

17.05.05

I've been a bit low today. A bit lethargic, maybe it's because we're coming to the end of the project and the end of the term. I think my newly finished painting of Dan and Sarah is my last at the school. I've got plenty to do for the exhibition so I'm focusing on that.

18.05.05

Much of my time today was taken up with organising the exhibition. I wrote a press release and sent it to various news outlets. I also designed a poster, which I put up around the school.

My lesson in the afternoon was pretty awful. Chris told me later that the pupils can sense it when you're not in control and organised and I think that's what happened. It was quite chaotic and I couldn't get everyone to listen to me. We started packing away with twenty minutes to go so I could make sure the class was ready for the next lot of pupils. They love painting but hate clearing-up, naturally.

I also made the mistake of allowing one of the pupils to show his friend, who hadn't yet started, how to paint his picture so I could start helping others. It wasn't fair on this particular pupil at all and I regret doing it.

I think the big problem with today was because the group were all at different stages. I had five who were half way through their paintings, seven that had not started a painting at all and three that hadn't even got an image from the computer. Therefore I was giving different messages out all over the place. It was pretty demoralising.

26.05.05

I was really looking forward to this day. There was a lot to do to prepare for the exhibition but I was ready to finish my residency. I've worked really hard; I'm tired and ready for a break.

I roped the sixth form in to help me set up the exhibition. We got a production line going. Two painted in backgrounds on some of the kid's unfinished works, while others put the hooks into the top of the canvases.

After everything was ready we placed them against the walls ready for hanging. It was really impressive. Bright, colourful and original works lit up the exhibition space. It was so vibrant and it made such a difference to the area. There was a buzz about the place.

The Exhibition

I was so surprised to see so many people turn up for the exhibition. It was good to see so many of the pupils with their parents proudly showing their works. This was the best feeling. I spoke to many of the parents and they were all so proud of their children for what they've done and for this alone it made the whole project worthwhile. I hope I've given the pupils a great start. I hope they've got the bug and will continue to express themselves and work hard at their art.

Final thoughts…

With all the bad news the school has had it's easy to forget about some of the great personalities that are at the school. I can see why teachers are teachers - it's addictive and I've been tempted to go down that route.

However, as much as I love teaching and working with young people, my own work is incredibly important to me. I know if I became a full-time teacher I would lose out on the time spent developing my work. I do believe there are ways of marrying the two and with this I don't believe my work at the school is finished. Over the next few months we'll be looking at ways of continuing the hard work I and many others have put into the project.